Only in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined such a horrifying outcome to such a wonderful blessing. The results have brought me here, a pen in hand paper on my desk and a revolver next to that. With what I have done, no brought on, I deserve far worse than this cowardly way out. The chemicals don’t even dull the pain anymore. I have tried to rectify the terror I have unleashed, completely fruitless. What could possibly be so bad? Have you been living under a rock? Look outside, you see that? That was all my doing, my curse upon the world.
I am assuming that you still don’t get it. What I have done. Okay well let me start from the beginning, then maybe I can feel justified. Perhaps you would have made a similar mistake given similar circumstances? I don’t think the choice was something anyone else would not make in my situation but knowing now the results I can’t say I wouldn’t have made it. Love makes us do such crazy things, this is such an understatement.
In college I was not the most interesting person, hell I was basically a leper. It was my junior year, I’d been lost. I had been extremely lost. To be honest, because why not, I didn’t think I’d survive another year. Every year, I felt closer to my own self destruction. To be blunt, I had planned on suck starting a shotgun in my room.
I was, per usual, in a bar trying to drown out my demons. This however, never worked, those damn things know how to swim. That is unimportant but it may help reveal something that may help. Who knows? This night was the night that started this whole mess. Don’t get me wrong though. I wouldn’t change it.
I wasn’t intentionally staring at her, but I mean she was breathtaking. A slender woman, long dark hair, blue eyes and a presence of confidence, stood near the jukebox. What should have been a short glance turned into a stare. She looked over at me and of course my eyes did not stray. I awkwardly continued to stare but I was not mentally there. My imagination took my far away. She had snapped me back into reality when she tapped me.
Her voice was soft but deep, it seemed so far away. As I was coming back to the real world it became clear and as if it was the only sound in the room. That’s how we first met. From there we saw each other a few other times and well one thing led to another and we started seeing each other regularly. Her name was Isabel.
Isabel, hell she was my everything. We had dreams, plans, and a future. Had, that was until she got sick. The kind of sick you just never get better from. Everyday was worse than the last. The doctors gave her months when we finally found out what was going on. The cancer didn’t care about our plans. It had plans of its own that did not involve Isabel and I being together. That was about two years ago. Two years before I had unleashed the unimaginable terror.
Grief can change a man. Well at least this man. I became obsessed, even after she gave up and was to tired I wouldn’t stop. I tried everything. Sometimes without her even knowing. Our future was gone so the savings meant nothing. I went to every witch doctor and whatever I could find to try and save her. In the end I lost everything including Isabel.
Need I continue? Have things clicked yet? Again look outside and tell me things aren’t making more sense now. Look at what I have done.
Even after the life drained from her body and there was no Isabel left, I didn’t give up. I tried to communicate with her through mediums and psychics. A bunch of bullshit if you ask me. I was not ready to give up.
Weeks before all the shit outside started I found someone special. I was finally close to having Isabel back. If you can call it that now. I mean really look at the mess. This woman, Gwendra, she gave me something that nobody else could. She gave me Isabel. Don’t believe me?
She was alive more or less, but most importantly I was with her again. I, no we, didn’t have much left but I had her. We had our future ahead of us. That was more than I could ask. If I had know what left of that future held I think I would do it again just to have her for as long as I did.
She was just as beautiful as the day we met. Albeit a little pale and cold but gorgeous nonetheless. Not only that but she was back to her old self, before the illness. Quick with a joke, sarcastic and all the wonderful things I love about her. That blinded me, I was unable to connect all the dots at first and when I figured it out it was too late. You will be there right with me in just a second.
It started with missing pet posters going up all over the place. That dog next door that used to harass us with his brain curdling screeches was the first to disappear. I felt bad yes but it was nice to have the silence. Oh how the silence is ghastly now. Larger things started to disappear after that, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, you name it. More and more frequent. The worst part was when they started coming back. Not all of them some to this day have still yet to be found. I don’t think there is anything left to be found but then I have seen some things.
The ones that came back were like Isabel, you know, not as fresh i guess would be the word for it. Not dead, that was obvious. Just not really alive if you get my drift. It was spreading as well. This plague I started was spreading rapidly, I heard recently it has hit overseas in some foreign places I have never heard about.
It wasn’t until i stumbled upon Isabel eating. Oh god was she eating. I cringe thinking of this, this vomit inducing atrocity. She was eating a person, like a living, breathing, nine to five person. Just tearing away at his flesh. This was when I pictured the neighbors dog in her mouth. All those people, the ones that didn’t come back this was their fate as well.
Later that night when she was home and back to her usual self, well as normal as a cannibal could be, I knew I had to do something. What Gwendra gave me back was a Zombie I guess. She slept and seemed like a normal person just had a man snack every now and again. The others are they like her as well did they eat their neighbors dog?
I had to end it. All those movies you see where you take a zombie down with a head shot, yeah complete bullshit. She just looked at me after I emptied the first of five rounds into her skull. The kind of look you give your pet when he has an accident inside. I put four more bullets into her and nothing she just sat up and stared at me with astonishment. I had never ran so fast. Am I next? Is my fate that of all those ones that haven’t been found.
Now I am here, at this desk, writing my confession with the last round in that revolver. I can hear the pounding on the door outside the room. I don’t really know if it’s Isabel or who knows I don’t want to be some snack. Now do you get it. What I have done. I hope so. Thankfully I don’t think anyone will every have to make the same mistake as I have.